The Hugh Jackman story

Because demiurgically_m asked:

I was the editor of e)mag in The Age/Sydney Morning Herald. I had interviewed Hugh Jackman and John Travolta at the Swordfish press conference that morning. Not a one-on-one, just a few questions from the floor.

That night was the première at Jeff’s Shed, a.k.a. The Melbourne Exhibition Centre. The ground in there is concrete. I remember really tacky stuff like platforms with dancers in metal cages dancing in skimpy outfits with C4 belts. Someone offered me a tiny little white carton of Asian-style noodles and chopsticks. I accepted, ate them. Wandered over to some people I knew who were positioned next to the enormous table covered in ice with oysters and sashimi and other things on it. Finished my noodles, but kept one chopstick to use in loosening oysters from their shells.

At one stage in discussions, I was gesturing vehemently with my chopstick, emphasising a point, when I caught the edge of my glasses, flinging them off my face and onto the floor. Smash. One lens was a starred wreck of fractured lines.

“That’s me done,” I said to the crowd. “See you all tomorrow.”

“Wait!” said my editorial assistant. “You haven’t said hello to Hugh Jackman yet!”

“I don’t need to say hello to Hugh Jackman. I interviewed him this morning. I am not going to talk to him with cracked glasses. I’m fine.”

“You don’t understand. I wasn’t there this morning and I live vicariously through you. It’ll be a talking point! A conversation starter! You *have* to go and talk to him.” (This bit may not be exactly what she said.)

She led me through the crowd. Literally. I had my glasses in my hand, so I was blind. I had my hand on her elbow. Periodically, I snuck my glasses on quickly to see how close we were to the VIP space. Just as I was doing this one final time, Hugh Jackman spotted me doing it. I quickly swept the glasses back off my face and into my hand.

Hugh: That must be driving you crazy.

Me: Yep, I… uh… had a tragic chopstick gesture accident.

Hugh: Are you short-sighted or long-sighted?

Me: Very, very short-sighted. You currently have no eyes.

Hugh: So, where would I come into focus?

Me (indicating point about three centimetres from my face with my fingers): Oh, about here…

Hugh (moving closer to me so that he is three centimetres from my face): Is that better?

Me (struggling to breathe and thinking “kiss him, kiss him”): Uh huh…

Hugh (in the sexiest voice I have ever heard from anyone in my life): I better step back… People might… talk…

We then had a lovely conversation about a whole lot of things, including the fact that at least he’d never forget me.

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20 Responses to “The Hugh Jackman story”

  • grey_evil_twin Says:

    And you didn’t kiss him?!!?!

  • admin Says:

    His *wife* was somewhere behind him in the VIP space and I have no idea whether they’re poly… *grin* Now, had he been *single*…

  • demiurgically_m Says:

    You get memorable real fast ;)

    I like your stories

  • grey_evil_twin Says:

    Oh pish tush wife! Like she wouldn’t have seen him kissing fans before!

  • pluces Says:

    Cool story…and definitely a conversation starter. :-)

  • the_kimba Says:

    That is such a cute story.

    I can imagine it as the opening scene in a romantic comedy!

  • vaingloriesque Says:

    I was trying to think of a good glasses story, ever since that last comment of yours… but you totally beat me to it. That’s awesome!

    *swoons*

  • drjon Says:

    There you go. And he’s a short-hair. *grin*

  • alchemon Says:

    I have the unfortunate problem of not having any memorable times with glasses (I used to wear them), so seeing yours is a refreshing change. Thank you for sharing your memories with us.

  • felix_femme Says:

    well done.
    Hugh was best man at my childhood boy /mate /friend /balletpartner ’s wedding
    just about the time of Oaklahoma but gratefully no perm

  • the_kimba Says:

    I forgot to share a funny glasses story with you too.

    As you would know Robbie wears glasses and cannot see very well without them. He hates the idea of eyes being touched so contacts and laser surgery are out of the question for him, but it has never been a huge issue. Maybe when we went skiing and had to look all over town for ski goggles that sit over the glasses so he could keep his sight, and lose the glare. Eventually we found some, phew.

    Oddly, I never notice his glasses because he has always worn them and I suppose they are as much a feature of his face to me as his eyes. But when we started seeing each other, he would take them off to go to bed. He has an entirely different face without them on, that I am not used to seeing, and so I would only see this ‘other face’ when we went to bed.

    As you can imagine in those early stages of our relationship, going to bed was less about sleep than..well you know. So I began to associate the glass-less face with ‘naughty Robbie’ with that devious look in his eye. It was like this secret other person no one else saw. Bedroom eyes indeed.

    Now don’t get me wrong – I find him equally attractive with glasses or not, but to this day, if he has taken them off for any reason such as at the beach, it must trigger something in my memory and I suddenly need to pounce on him and cannot stay away from him.

    I remember once even saying to him “You are so naughty” when he had them off at the beach in the middle of the day. As if my secret night boyfriend had appeared when he was not allowed to.

    Heh. But then I’m crazy.
    And pro glasses ;-)

  • daern Says:

    Sadly, my “glasses” story has a less than happy ending. You’ve probably heard it – Boots to the head at Alternative nation whilst watching NIN, glasses lens into mud, on hands and knees to retrieve (which I did), handkerchief wrapped around left lens socket for rest of day, whilst wearing Al Jorgensen style leather hat, crowd parting often to get out of the way of crazy (ie me)? Kicked in head again. Passed out during PWEI? Missed most of their set? But still had glasses lens.

  • teacher_dave Says:

    Fantasic story. Did he ask about the chopstick related incident?

  • admin Says:

    Not that I recall. Thankfully.

  • gypsyamber Says:

    What a fantastic story! Bet you’re the only journalist he’s gotten that close into personal space with, by choice.

  • msservalan Says:

    Didn’t you know him at uni?

    We were in a terrible Vacslav Havel (sp sorry) play together – it even toured to Bathurst!

  • admin Says:

    No! Seriously? I had no idea he’d been anywhere near our uni. How very amusing. If I ever bump into him again I’ll be sure to mention your name and what you’re up to these days! *grin* That’ll be another memorable conversation…

  • blithespirit Says:

    *sigh*
    I love that story.
    :)

  • admin Says:

    I forgot to reply to this and say: I love this story, thanks! It certainly is then something that only glasses-wearers can have as their very own little secret sauciness.

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