It goes without saying that spells of this kind gen­er­ally require a kitten;
At least one, more if there’s a storm brewing — the weather
Is a fickle assistant. As to breed, well — the more docile spe­ci­mens
Tend to dis­rupt pro­ceed­ings less. Loc­a­tion is your dis­cre­tion: hotel
Or hovel, house or hole. Also string — the higher the level of min­ister
You wish to erad­icate, the more com­plic­ated the thread.

First things first then: take three lengths, even, of unwaxed thread
And braid a circle, saying, I bind you, then slip it on the kitten.
It is imper­ative that you only whisper the name of the min­ister
— the only excep­tion is made for extremely foul weather:
In the case of light­ning, espe­cially in a dingy or dark hotel,
Wait for the thunder and, for the most repug­nant of spe­ci­mens

Shriek their name — for all but the most intract­able spe­ci­mens
This will be enough to cause a ripple of horror to thread
Through their bones, regard­less of which swanky hotel
They are cur­rently swan­ning through, which smokey-eyed kitten
Is on their arm (they’re all men, of course), or whether
They are min­ister of border security and immig­ra­tion or min­ister

For the mean­ing­less­ness of cap­ital and work or min­ister
For the enduring belief in a quick fiddle of the books, or spe­ci­mens
Of that old class of min­ister who believes they can weather
Any cir­cum­stances by standing by idly, the thread
Even­tu­ally catches up to them all. But we were col­laring the kitten —
Back in that hovel or hostel, that homestead or hotel —

For the sake of sim­pli­city, let’s say for now it’s a hotel
And that you’re dealing with a gut­less creep of a min­ister
Respons­ible for the incar­cer­a­tion of inno­cents: the kitten
Will be rest­less and try to escape the collar; all spe­ci­mens
Are pos­sessed by their inhuman coun­ter­part the moment the thread
Des­cends upon their neck. Assuming reas­on­able weather

And one kitten — well, let’s say, cloudy, fore­boding weather
And you reduced to last ditch ban­ishing spells in a hotel —
Whisper the name and at the last pos­sible moment, tighten the thread.
The cat will thrash — the kit includes salve to min­ister
To any wounds incurred but we cannot guar­antee spe­ci­mens
Not handled cor­rectly at this point. Do not let go of the kitten.

If all goes well, the kitten will go limp then vanish. The weather
Will brighten vis­ibly. All spe­ci­mens remaining should be returned via hotel
Security. As for the min­ister? If wanted dead, cut the thread.